The pride in my chest about to burst,
As fluorescent pink and neon green,
Dance in front of me.
Center stage with the lights glaring,
I have given them what I always wanted.
Red lipstick and makeup,
Mixed with perspiration.
Big hugs as my proud tears fall.
So beautiful and so big,
I created this!
Sometimes a pushy mother,
An over involved mom,
Am I too much?
Are my standards too high?
Do I push too hard?
I always wonder about my faults.
Makeup is off.
We read a story before sleep.
“Thank you mommy,”
The almost teenager leans over and hugs me.
“I love you mama,”
The little one reaches up and kisses me.
“We don’t say it enough…”
“We live a wonderful life!”
Ohh, the proud tears roll again,
and I’m overwhelmed.
At least today I know,
I have done my best!
You clipped my wings
and I took the road less travelled,
because I thought my pain would seize.
At times unbearable!
I’d fall to my knees,
crying for answers,
but none came.
A little bundle wrapped in pink,
was my consolation.
Another painful delivery,
and second chance.
The wings grew back,
and strength returned.
of blissful motherhood.
I thank me for nothing.
Yet I’m proud of all I’ve achieved.
A broken child
grown into a protective dragon.
You can’t break me!
I may stumble,
but I’ve outgrown the pain,
and now marvel!
I’ve made it,
and so much more to go!
I walk proud!
I wanted you to know.
My life is simply incredible!
You’re a constant stream of consciousness,
A reminder that I’m not alone.
Fighting time and errands for a hug, a glance, a smile.
So confused and yet ok.
So angry but breaking.
Mother nature, why so cruel?
Your games render me a fool!
The world wants instant gratification!
But you are patient, loving, and steady.
When others ruffle my feathers,
You lower your voice and soothe me.
The depth in your eyes, cannot be masked.
Your smile and face light up.
When mother nature is cruel, I sob!
Despite the pain, you stand and slowly rock.
Such a wonderful thing I’ve found,
Deep in the darkness that surrounds.
I wish things were real, and you were mine.
Am I willing to see through time?
I won’t despair because you are here.
A constant stream of consciousness, even when I’m delirious.
Gently reminding me that I can be loved all day and twice at night.
That I will be alright!
The moment is glorious!
Your wonderful spirit comes through in bursts of grey and black.
I laugh and smile as I reflect on your prompts.
A romantic moment, a bowl of mush engulfing us.
The smell of lilacs fill the air;
I am happy, delirious, smiling.
The future unknown,
the past far gone.
Right now I have you,
your sweet thoughts, and adoring words.
Busy tasks keep my mind occupied,
Sometimes just not long enough.
My thoughts drift,
Especially at night.
And once again I’m overwhelmed.
I marvel at my life,
My incredible little jewels.
Did I really play a part
In their shining lives?
So much to be thankful for,
Yet feeling unsatisfied.
Trying to shake these emotions.
Why can’t I?
And not enough…
When will this stop?
Bring me peace and warmth,
Please take my pain.
I’m weak and untouchable,
Or so you think!
I’ve been through hell,
And crawled out smiling.
My will is strong,
What hasn’t killed me,
Made me stronger.
I can conquer worlds,
So don’t get me started!
I may seem frail,
But I’m far from weak.
My mind plays games,
But this one I can win.
I won’t reach for the bell,
I have many rounds to go.
I just don’t want to do it alone,
You touch my cheek like a light breeze,
Your scent intoxicates my senses
And I can’t breathe.
You must be tired from running in my mind all day,
The joy of seeing you I cannot hide,
I’m completely swept away.
‘What is love?’ you ask?
As if you cannot tell,
Wow! What an incredible feeling we share!
The warmth of my blanket, jerks me,
I turn and there’s noone there.
Was I dreaming?
And now I must wake!
At times I am overwhelmed,
Squeezing all the marrow out of life,
And feeling guilty for sleeping.
Last night’s ten hours revived
Yet, my droopy eyes shine,
I am sleep deprived.
The weekend looms,
My schedule is packed,
Too much to do…
You seem so unnecessary,
Yet, I am delirious without you,
Help me buy more time,
So that I can truly enjoy you!