Loving you was all consuming,
Feeling like I couldn’t breathe;
I forged forward,
Despite your nonchalant care!
Until I just couldn’t…
The image of you sneaking in at night,
Waking from deep sleep to wrap my arms around you,
Breathing you in!
Our fingers interlaced under my pillow,
Your warm body molding around mine.
I miss you so much!
The tears hit the page as I write,
Telling myself that this is now my path!
Your words like daggers,
Left scars on my heart.
I’ve tried to move on…
But I’m fighting to heal.
How do I forget?
How do I tell my heart to cut the signal?
I feel you pull me, our connection is so raw!
You have reconnected my faith,
Your ultimate conviction pulled me in,
As our passion grew, I gave in…
Allowed myself to fall,
But to no avail…
Did I ask too much?
Did I want or somehow need something you couldn’t give?
Cognitively trying to stop my heart…
Remember our sin?
How do I heal?
I thought I gave my all,
Then I became the evil
The person who drove and broke you.
All I wanted was to love you!
Under the blanket of darkness,
Our lips touch and we are still in love.
The nights are the hardest,
Fighting the intermix of desire and pain.
I love you,
I don’t know how to live without you!
I am angry with you
and I want to thank you,
You brought faith back into my life,
stronger and more authentic than ever before.
K-Love makes me cry because I want to share so much,
I carry our sin in my heart and light candles,
Begging for forgiveness when I can’t forgive myself.
He says he loves me,
In his own way I guess he does.
He is not you!
No-one will ever be you…
Perhaps one day our fingers will once again intertwine
as your lips rest on mine,
and we give thanks and pray
for another day!